By Aparna Rajan
I am a freshman approaching my sophomore year at Drexel University as a dual major in Marketing and International Business. I like to see life obstacles as minor speed bumps that keep you in check as you make your way to your destination.
After losing my grandparents last year, I developed this lonely feeling inside which has since been extremely difficult to overcome. There are countless reasons that we go through periods of feeling lonely; losing a loved one, loss of friends, and family neglect are just a few.
There are many ways to handle loneliness but finding the right solution for yourself will take time and effort. In my own situation, I personally felt misunderstood, like no one was capable of understanding what I was going through. I kept asking, “How would you understand? You didn't experience it.” I also felt that even if someone could understand me, it was a huge burden to ask them to help.
It has been a year already, and I have yet to fully recover, but I am getting better.
I have learned that feeling empty and lonely can eat people up without them even knowing it. Such melancholy feelings serve as an alert to show you that you’re hurting and if you keep lingering on the issue that’s hurting you, moving on from it can be very difficult. Life is filled with opportunities though to fill those empty and lonely holes inside of you that are festering up. You have to learn to look at the positive things that are around you so that you can use them to help change the way you feel.
It gets easier if you are willing to take the necessary steps to start feeling better.
Here are five tips that I would give to someone going through this.
Surrounding yourself with positive environments and people is critical! It helps you feel loved, wanted, and even needed.
Yes, surrounding yourself with people that care about you and cheer you up is important but sometimes you’re going to need a break. Surrounding yourself with too many people can leave you possibly feeling less significant because you are around those people too much. Always remember to take some alone time to reflect.
Get a hobby
The amount of times that I have advised people to get a hobby is unreal, but the truth is that it works. Getting a hobby can lead to you making more social interactions and help you destress. Your hobby can leave you feeling fulfilled which is a great way to fill that void inside of you. I go to the gym and write, which has worked wonders for me.
Approach Your Problems Head On
Now, this tip might sound really difficult and I completely understand but it’s a necessary one. Look at yourself in the mirror and really be honest with yourself about what’s wrong and what you can do to fix it.
I like to ask myself “What happened?”, “How can I solve this problem?”, and “What are some things that contributed to the issue that I can avoid in the future?”. I find doing this in private is more helpful but if you want to involve another person to help you, you definitely can!
Know That You Are Not the Only One
This may sound cliché, but it is true! I am a complete stranger relating to you on a spiritual level when I say I get lonely as well.
I am writing this because there are so many people out there who are struggling with the same issue. Please know that if this is you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. There are over 7 billion people on this planet so there is no problem that you have to face alone.