5 Ways to Know You've Found the Wrong Kind of "Love"
By Silvia Campos
New York City-based Actor and Writer. My writing and acting style is funny, uplifting, embarrassing, and sometimes trivial.
We've all been there (or still here). Falling madly and maybe even desperately in love with someone, thinking this is it! Only to feel frustrated when your adoration is not reciprocated shortly after. Hopefully, this listicle here can help you remove people who are taking up your vital time and energy. Here we go!
THEY TAKE DAYS/ WEEKS EVEN, TO COMMUNICATE - From the moment you've both gone on a date, ask yourself. Has this person made the attempt to find out if you've arrived home safely? Have they followed up with you to make future plans this week, or next? Have they sent you (love this) memes via Facebook or Instagram? I had a guy text me out of the blue “I MISS you!” HOW, it was one date!!! He didn't even know my last name for crying out loud. Oh, and he'd write every other week - if that. My real question is, has this person taken the time to remind you that they were thinking of you?
THEY DON'T CELEBRATE THE SMALL THINGS (ATTENTION TO DETAILS) - Do you enjoy seafood? How do you like your margarita? If you're catching a cold, do they bring you some generic cough drops or splurge on the Ricola kind? That was a joke, relax. What I mean is, do they even care? Do they consider the small things that make you smile, cry, or cringe? It's about care, in its smallest form.
YOU HAVENT MET THEIR FRIENDS OR FAMILY- DUN DUN DUN. YES. OH, MY GOD. I remember this RED FLAG. So, I was dating this guy super briefly. It was exciting, I felt dangerous and just free. The thing was, whenever it came to talking about getting serious he looked like he was having a stroke. He'd quickly deter this idea, and that's when it hit me, this was just a Mr. right now kind of thing. I cut that cord immediately. Of course, meeting the family was wayyyyyyy too soon but friends? Come on.
DO YOU FEEL LONELY AT NIGHT? I will never forget the anxiety I used to have when dating this one person. It was the worst. When we were together it felt like he was my boyfriend but when we were apart, it felt as if he was slipping through my fingers. RED FLAG. The right kind of love will secure and ensure that you have them with you, even when you aren't together. Trust me. Ask yourself this question: When you go to sleep at night, do you feel alone? If the answer is yes, I'm sorry darling. It's the wrong kind of love.
THEY BRING OUT THE WORST IN YOU - Probably a defining factor of the wrong kind of love is having your friends gawk at your mood. Either that or you're too busy snooping on their social media trying to find out who the person they're liking photos of on Instagram is instead of having fun with your friends. You're obsessive, aggressive, and defensive. You find yourself constantly asking yourself if you're smart, thin, or young enough. YOU ARE - SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm hopeful that you read this article and think long and hard.
You have the courage to be honest with yourself. If you feel that this article screams out things about your current relationship, then think about what that means. You are deserving of love that is passionate, genuine, inspiring, and generous.